Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Lunch With Tom

I wonder if Tom Waits would be scary. Like over lunch or somesuch say.

"Mr. Waits, wou...."
"Call me Tom, please," his voice gargled gravel.
"Tom, would you pass the salt please?"
He'd look through your soul then. Burn your eyes with his. And nonplussed and curt he'd say, "You don't need salt. Use pepper if you have to."
One of you would say, "Yes, Mr. Waits. I mean Tom." But the other you would either say, "Just pass the fucking salt, Tom!" or reach across him and pick it up yourself.

That'd be two ways to earn Tom Waits' respect. Even if he was scary. Say over lunch or somesuch.


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