strangers

someone's car alarm screams
interrupting my scream that
asks where are you

i miss you on this night that
i don't want you here

i need you to be the pillow
i hug to my belly,
my erection

that you would not accept
anyway

were you ever here
really

lost among the maze of books
that litters the spare room
where the cat plays and dis
appears

your coffee cooling in the disaffected
gaze aimed at the closed window, your free hand
exploring your breast

the way you would
ignore me when i spoke then
(hours)
later bury yourself in my chest, bathe
me in kisses then withdraw as though
we were two strangers who bumped one
another in a traffic of hurry

coming to me at night
with no look then taking
me like a prostitute

the sweat upon your brow

the terror in your eyes

the silence in your heart.


copyright 1998 or 1999. fuck, i don't know