Plane Old Travel

I enjoy travel...(long walks on the beach, macramé, lunar eclipses, and just being held—call me?) No, I do enjoy travel. However, I don’t enjoy flying as I once did. Save taxiing, lifting-off, and landing safely I am all about destination. Whereas, I long ago found pleasure in air travel, I now approach boarding a plane with a subtle sense of dread. I find the fellow passengers and much of the airline staff to be impatient and crass. They are largely people I prefer not to be around. Also, if you are a drinker, order a double right up front because you will not see an attendant again until you disembark. And for God’s sake, have exact change unless you are prepared to endure the “Scowl that launched a thousand planes.” Typically four bucks a pop. Or is it five dollars now?

Last August our party of five (minus Neve Campbell, of course) boarded a 6:00 a.m. flight to Boston. Uncle G. and I ordered Maker’s Mark while L. had a Bloody Mary. Em went with juice. A. had nothing. Uncle G., sitting a row in front of me, didn’t know the rule of “Double or Nothing” and so half missed out. He looked back when he heard me order. I smiled my smug little closed-mouth smile—which I guess means I smirked—and commenced to pouring one mini bottle over ice.

Across the aisle from me, Em was simply mesmerized. He has long loved airplanes and does enjoy flying; as such he was in two-year-old heaven. As we taxied and took our place in line, Em was glued to the window. “Dere’s a plane. And dere’s a plane. Anudder plane and anudder plane. And dere’s anudder plane…” Because I think I am hilarious, I piped up with, “Boy, you aren’t at a bus station.” I greatly amuse me. Uncle G. thought it was funny too. Or perhaps he was just being polite. Em glanced over at me with a half smile of his own, and continued navigating a steady stream of “anudder planes.” He mixed his metaphors and I mixed anudder Maker’s and Coke.

Boston was wonderful—as it tends to be. I recommend the Seaport Hotel for your comfort and $6 (plus included gratuity) draughts. We did our wedding stuff. Our personal stuff. Our family stuff. Took Em to the aquarium and the Boston Common. Talked our cabbie into racing another cabbie through the busy streets late at night. Met up with friends from Chicago and New York who handled Em while we went to the wedding. And we managed the highlight of my baseball-loving life by going to Fenway Park (Red Sox 6, Tigers 1).

The following Monday was back to Nashville. Our party of five reduced to a traveling trio. With well-earned exhaustion we boarded, settled, and mentally prepared for the flight and the busy workweek that awaited us. A suddenly alert Em went straight for the window. As a gasp escaped him, the window began to fog, and he informed our fellow passengers gleefully: “And anudder plane and anudder plane and anudder plane…”